Hi, I'm Emilia Isabelle

How to Keep Your Sanity as a Parent: Reclaiming Your Identity Beyond “Mum”

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Parenthood is a gift, arguably the most sacred gift in life, but let’s be real, it can also feel like a never-ending cycle of giving, doing, and being everything for your little person. Whether you are at the knee-deep-in-nappies phase or rushing around doing the school runs, it’s easy to forget there’s a you in there somewhere and who you even is. This is your reminder that you are- a multifaceted, brilliant, confident woman who exists beyond the role of “mum.”

If you’re feeling a bit lost in the motherhood fog, you’re not alone. The good news? You don’t have to stay stuck. Though it won’t be easy, let’s talk about how to reclaim your sense of self and keep your sanity by rediscovering the things that make you feel alive.

You’re Not Just a Mum—You’re a Multifaceted Human

Roxie Nafousi reminds us in her book Confidence that confidence comes from embracing all aspects of who we are. You’re not only a parent. You’re also a creative, a friend, a partner, a colleague, a dreamer, a thinker, and a doer. You’re allowed to dress in a way that makes you feel radiant or sexy (those shorts aren’t too short as long as you feel great), chase your hobbies, and make space for your personal goals. Making time for yourself doesn’t take away from your love for your family- it adds to it. In doing so you are role modelling that it is possible to have balance in your life, and it is healthy to make time for you.

Start by asking yourself: What makes you feel like the best version of yourself? Is it power dressing for your bad ass corporate job where you get to dominate in the board room? Is it at home in your PJs with a face mask on and curlers in your hair? No judgement either way, but what makes you feel good! Is it doing your makeup in the morning just for you? Wear what brings you confidence and do it for you only. It’s not about impressing anyone but you.

Remember What You Love

Seriously, when was the last time you asked yourself: What do I enjoy doing?

Maybe it’s baking, maybe it’s sketching, maybe it’s getting lost in a good book with a cup of tea that’s actually hot. Whatever lights you up, do more of that. I find that writing a list to encorporate the things I love in to my day-to-day helps. So write a list of five things that bring you joy and make them visible- on your fridge, your bathroom mirror, your phone wallpaper. You matter enough to take 10 minutes a day for those things.

Build Habits That Support you

James Clear, in Atomic Habits, explains that small changes made consistently can lead to massive transformations. If you want to feel more connected to yourself, make you a daily habit. Prioritise yourself like you would a meeting or a doctor’s appointment. Start small: five minutes of journalling, a walk in silence, a creative burst while the kids nap or pilates classes on Saturday whilst your husband acts taxi driver for the day ferrying the kids too and from all the extracurricular activities whilst enduring the kids carpool Karaoke session of he’s got the whole world in his hands..

Pair it with something you already do- like listening to an audiobook while folding laundry or doing a quick stretch before bed instead of watching the Netflix series that you were going to binge watch. The key is to make it easy and repeatable.

Give Yourself a High Five

Literally. Mel Robbins’ The High 5 Habit teaches us to build self-trust and self-worth through something as simple as giving ourselves a high five in the mirror. It might feel silly at first, when say might, it definitely does feel silly but it’s a powerful daily reminder that you’ve got you and there is actual science behind it. Every time you catch your reflection, remind yourself that you are doing an incredible job- that includes on the days you don’t feel like you are and remember that your dreams, goals and desires still matter. There is nothing stopping you apart from yourself, so whatever it is.. GO FOR IT!

Own Your Authentic Self

Being “mum” is a role you play- but it’s not your entire identity. Your kids need to see you fully expressed so they learn how to honour their own identities too. Show them what passion looks like. Let them see you laugh while painting, light up while dancing, or focus fiercely on something that brings you pride.

You being you isn’t selfish. It’s soul-sustaining.

Last But Not Least

So here’s your permission slip to say good riddance to the mum guilt: to dress up for no one but yourself, to pick up old hobbies or find new ones, to set boundaries that protect your energy, and most importantly to role model to your kids what a whole, confident, multifaceted woman looks like.

Because keeping your sanity as a parent isn’t just about surviving the chaos- it’s about choosing to thrive within the chaos!