Hi, I'm Emilia Isabelle

The Relentless Reality of Single Motherhood: No One Is Coming to Save You 

Juggling a full-time job while raising a loud, energetic six-year-old boy is no small feat and definitely not for the faint-hearted. Sometimes, I look back and don’t even know how we made it here, but alas, we are here and thriving (most days). It’s a continuous balancing act, and the truth is harsh: no one is coming to save you. 

When you become a single parent, you quickly realise your journey won’t look anything like the picture-perfect lives paraded on social media. You won’t always be at the pumpkin patch in matching outfits or capturing serene family moments by the Christmas tree. And that’s okay. 

 The Social Media Illusion and the Weight of Judgment

Social media can be a toxic place for single mums. The curated images and subtle (and not-so-subtle) shaming are relentless. The single mum hate is rampant and don’t get me started on the “Well, you should’ve picked better” comments. Let’s be clear: no one chooses single parenthood unless it’s absolutely necessary. This is the hardest job in the world, and it’s made even harder when co-parenting is challenging or when the other parent simply vanishes off the face of the earth.. though, in some cases, this is for the best it doesn’t stop the difficult conversations you are faced with and the questions not only from your child but from society.

The Mental Load No One Talks About

The mental load is real and unending. As single mums, we’re constantly thinking about what’s next- school pickups, packed lunches, bills, homework, doctors’ appointments, work deadlines. And there’s no one to share it with and for those who are fortunate enough to find themselves in nurturing and loving relationships even still carry this load alone. 

You find yourself turning down job opportunities because they don’t align with your child’s schedule. You miss out on social events because there’s no one to watch your child. It really does take a village. And yet, you have to show up for work because your child depends on you to keep the lights on and food on the table and have the latest beyblade arena.

Leaving Was the Hardest and Best  Decision 

I spent four years trying to keep my “family” together. I grew up in a nuclear family and desperately wanted the same for my son. But I cannot stress this enough: leaving was the best decision I ever made. 

While I won’t pretend that this single-motherhood journey has been smooth or glamorous, I can say with certainty that choosing peace over toxicity was necessary. I don’t use the word “toxic” lightly and I’ll share more about that part of my story in a separate post.