The Difference Between a Passing Thought and Overthinking Your Life Away
We often say “I’ve been thinking…” but what we really mean is “I’ve been spiralling again.” There’s a quiet but powerful difference between having a quick thought and getting stuck or trapped in thinking, understanding that difference could change your life.
A thought is neutral and fleeting. My example would be my thought about starting this blog, which went something like..:
“I could start a blog.”
It passes through and bears no weight unless we grab hold of it.
Thinking on the other hand is what happens when we latch on, analyse it from all angles, and attach meaning to it that usually comes from fear, insecurity, or doubt.
How many times have you talked yourself out of something because of thinking what if.. My what if spiral went something like this..
“What if no one reads it? What if everyone reads it and they cringe? What if I embarrass myself?”
Then you’re no longer thinking, you’re overthinking. You’re in the trenches of “what ifs” and “I shoulds” and “I can’t because…”
Overthinking
We trick ourselves into thinking we’re just being “careful” or “logical,” when really we’re building prisons out of assumptions.
In Don’t Believe Everything You Overthink, Joseph Nguyen writes:
“Thinking is not the same as awareness. Awareness sees the moment as it is. Thinking tries to create a story about it.”
A Thought:
“I should have a cup of tea.”
Thinking:
“I have to get up and boil the kettle. There’s no biscuits. I shouldn’t have biscuits, I’m on a diet. I’ve already ruined today. I’ll start again tomorrow. Why can’t I just be more disciplined?”
And suddenly, a simple, gentle cue from your body has turned into a mini breakdown and now you’re crying into a pack of McVities..
The Problem with Thinking
Thinking isn’t bad but when it’s constant, especially when it’s fueled by negativity, it robs you of presence, action, and most importantly your peace.
The thinking mind thrives on loops and patterns, those loops keep you from movement. Over time, those little spirals lead to avoidance, comparison, shame, procrastination, and paralysis.
Don’t let a beautiful idea like “I could start a blog” get poisoned before it ever has a chance to flourish and thrive.
So, How Do You Know You’re in Thinking Mode?
Recognise your triggers, what are the things that drag you out of the moment and into the mental abyss. For example it might be:
- Instagram: Suddenly, it is comparing your life, body, home, or timeline to strangers online (who don’t even know you exist and when I saw them at the McDonald’s drive thru they don’t look like that either btw)
- Emails: Feeling like you’re never doing enough or falling behind.
- People who question your life choices: “Are you still single?” “You’re quitting your job for that?”.
- Even your own rituals: Watching TV while scrolling. You’ve convinced yourself it’s resting, but it’s mentally draining.
Anything that takes you from being in your life to being in your head needs to be questioned.
Choose a Wholesome Life Over a Mental One
A wholesome life doesn’t mean a perfect one. It means one that feels light, grounded, and aligned with you.
To live that kind of life, you must be willing to:
- Let a thought be a thought.
- Stop giving power to every emotion that thinking stirs up.
- Cut back on habits that keep you stuck in comparison, shame, and distraction- the loop!
- Return to the body. The moment. The cup of tea. The writing. The breath.
And finally..
You are not your thoughts, not every thought needs to be unpacked. Some thoughts are just passing clouds, so in the words of Mel Robbins “Let Them”.
Don’t believe everything you overthink.
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