Hi, I'm Emilia Isabelle

Be Selfish

So, here’s a wild idea I’ve been marinating on, what if we all just stopped doing things we don’t want to do? Groundbreaking, I know.

An example of this is in the form of my recent decisions to drink less, not because I hate fun or because I’ve joined some wellness cult, but because alcohol makes me feel like bin juice the next day.

Shocking revelation: regularly blacking out, inhaling pizza, or in my case houmous and pita at 2am, and spiralling isn’t the self-care routine I want for myself.

And you know what, not everyone will get that. Some people look at you sideways like you’ve just announced you eat soup with a fork. “What do you mean you’re not drinking tonight?” Oh, I don’t know, maybe I enjoy not hating myself tomorrow, and I actually want to enjoy my Saturday getting my steps in instead of waking from 3 hours sleep to my 6 year old with a ponding headache. That’s not to say I never want to drink again, but I’m selective because I don’t need to drink to have a good time and I enjoy doing activities that don’t revolve around happy hour.

The same goes for any plans. One of my friends and I have this beautiful, unspoken pact where we never explain ourselves. If one of us cancels plans, we don’t say, “I’m so sorry, I’m just soooo tired,” or “I’ve had a really long day.” Instead, we just say, “No” because we don’t always need to explain, and it’s a mutal understanding based on respect, I know she’ll never cancel unless she needs time to herself and vice versa it’s never from a place of unkindness.

If you don’t want to go to something, it is a complete sentence. Not wanting to talk to someone, same. Not wanting to participate in whatever nonsense is going on? You’re allowed. Full stop. If someone demands a PowerPoint presentation explaining your personal decisions, congratulations, you’ve met someone who should probably focus more on their own life and less on yours.

You don’t owe anyone a detailed thesis on why you’re not doing what they want you to do. You’re not a circus clown, so you don’t need to perform.  You’re a grown adult with preferences. Start acting like one. If being true to yourself leads to someone making you feel bad for making choices that serve you better, well, maybe they need to do a little less dissecting and a little more self-reflecting.

Say no. Be selfish. Value your time.