Hi, I'm Emilia Isabelle

Quit The Pity Party

Stop feeling sorry for yourself. Don’t take everything personal and for the love of God accept that in order to build relationships you have to be willing to pour into them.

Being one of the only parents and nearly the only single person in my friendship group can be a lot. That is not because my friends aren’t amazing (they’ve been nothing but supportive), but because trying to maintain friendships while single-handedly raising a small human, working full time, drinking enough water, hitting 10,000 steps, reading, and being a better version of myself feels… well, like I’m juggling at a circus I didn’t audition for.

There was a time I felt really lonely and not because anyone did anything wrong. I’d convinced myself I was a burden. I resented my situation and decided in my own head that people didn’t want to be around me. Time to bring out the world’s tiniest violin. Truth be told, no one made me feel that way except me.

I’ve always been fiercely independent the “I’ve got this” type, even when I definitely don’t and in reality, I’m in the midst of a shit storm. I’m also terrible at asking for help or being fully honest about how I feel. This year, though, I decided that I had to change. I realised I couldn’t keep waiting for friendship to land on my doorstep. I had to be the force behind nurturing the connections I already had and making a conscious attempt at creating new ones, too.

Even when it feels like I’m being a burden, I remind myself that’s just me catastrophising. So I’ve made a conscious effort to show up not perfectly but intentionally.

I signed up for an art class for a term. It was just a little old me, a paintbrush, and some very patient people. I couldn’t keep it up long-term (because, hello, house renovation and life is lifing), but it reminded me how good it feels to be around new people who enjoy the same things you do.

Now I do smaller things, too, things that make the world feel a little more connected. I smile at people when I walk past them. I say hello. I tell the person behind the counter to have a lovely day. The other week, someone lost their bank card at the checkout, so I paid for their few items. It wasn’t much, so I’m not a recognised Saint yet, but the man’s gratitude absolutely made my day.

These tiny human moments? They matter. Whether it’s 30 seconds, 30 minutes, or 30 years, connection is connection. It’s what makes the world go round. And maybe that’s what friendship really is, showing up, even when life feels like a juggling act, and remembering that opening yourself up to people doesn’t make you a burden. It makes you human.