Same Same but Different
Let’s get one thing straight: yes, we all have the same 24 hours technically but unless you are juggling a full-time job, a child who thinks sleep is a suggestion not a necessity, and a desperate attempt to remember what vegetables taste like (you know, for health), we are not living in the same time zone in any sense, emotionally, mentally, or logistically.
My day is dictated by two major forces:
- My son (a pint-sized BOSS who doesn’t care about my calendar)
- Work (a full-sized BOSS who also doesn’t care about my calendar)
And somewhere squished between those, I try to care for my health, which depending on the day might mean a gym session or just eating a Cadbury whole-nut bar of chocolate for dinner on the basis nuts are protein or remembering to drink water that didn’t start out as coffee. Everything else? That’s “extra.” Friendships? Hobbies? Long baths where I pretend I don’t have responsibilities? All of it has to be scheduled in like a dentist appointment, which is ironic because I have been avoiding my dentist for about 4 months.
Other people have different priorities. Some people don’t have kids, some have more flexible jobs, some genuinely enjoy going to brunch every Saturday and spending four hours choosing between poached eggs or a smoke salmon bagel. And to them, I say: go forth and enjoy your leisure, live, laugh, love. I probably won’t be there.. Unless by some miracle, I find a babysitter and make it out of the abyss of my to-do list.
Relationships Require Reality Checks
Friendships, romantic relationships, even those weird situationships that come with too many messages with zero clarity, they all require one essential ingredient: understanding each other’s priorities.
If someone’s constantly saying “I’m busy with work” or “My kid is sick again” or “I’m just really trying to focus on myself,” and you interpret that as rejection rather than reality… chances are, you’re not respecting their boundaries. If you constantly feel neglected because someone isn’t giving you the time you think you deserve, maybe the truth is a little less dramatic and a little more honest: you’re not a priority in their current season. And that’s ok!
Not All Friendships Are Built for Every Season
I cut down my drinking recently, I say recent at the time I wrote this it was the beginning of the year. When I say cut down, I mean significantly not in a wine on weekends way, but in a don’t ask me for bottomless brunch kind of way. And surprise surprise a few friendships didn’t make it.
Suddenly, I was the boring one. The are-you-still-not-drinking girl. The same person, but apparently 70% less fun without a G&T and not getting home until 3am. Maybe I was only fun to them when I was making bad decisions and mocking myself in the disguise of having fun.
Growth sometimes involves trimming the social tree. You don’t stop being who you are. You just stop pretending you enjoy alcohol-induced regret for the sake of fitting in.
Your Time, Your Terms
Whilst we do all have the same 24 hours, we do not have the same obligations, energy, mental bandwidth, or childcare arrangements. Understanding and respecting that truth is the key to sustaining any relationship.
So whether your 24 hours involve boardrooms, bottle feeds, or benders, know this:
- You’re allowed to set your own priorities.
- You’re allowed to say no without the intense feeling of guilt.
- And you’re allowed to grow past relationships that no longer nourish you (even if they once came with matching friendship bracelets or glittery shot glasses).
The best way to spend 24 hours is choosing who and what actually deserves a spot on your schedule
Hi, I'm Emilia Isabelle 
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