Hi, I'm Emilia Isabelle

Stuck.

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Sometimes, I still feel stuck in the ‘new mum stage’ that strange, in-between version of yourself where you don’t quite know who you are anymore.

The really confusing part is… my newborn is seven.

Seven years have passed, and I don’t feel much closer to finding myself now than I did in those early sleep-deprived days when everything revolved around feeding times, naps, and survival. Back then, it made sense to feel lost because your entire identity shifted overnight. Someone completely dependent on you arrives, and your needs no longer exist.

Weirdly, I felt it less than I do today and no one really talks about how that feeling can linger.

Somewhere along the way, I thought I had it together. Life felt more balanced and looking back, I realised that was when there was more of a village not necessarily for my son but the village for me, for me to vent. There was more support and shared responsibility.

Then slowly, almost without noticing, the village shrinks.

People get busy and circumstances change. Support becomes occasional instead of constant and without meaning to, you slip into autopilot.

Days become more and more structured: wake up, get ready, make sure no one is late, school runs, dinners, bedtime routines. Repeat. There’s comfort in it. It’s a predictable rhythm that keeps everything functioning, but somewhere inside that routine, parts of you go quiet.

I rarely sit down to do my makeup anymore not because I don’t like it, but because it no longer feels like a priority but maybe it should be, maybe not for appearance, but for me. Yet guilt creeps in almost immediately. 

I already worry I don’t spend enough time with my son.

He goes to school, I do the pick up, and we rush through the evenings. Bedtime comes quickly, and then tomorrow comes around even quicker before I’ve even had a moment to ask myself what I actually want or need.

Where is the time to reinvent yourself? To glow up? To rediscover who you are outside of being someone’s mum.

Sometimes, I wonder, do other mums feel this way, too? Or am I the only one quietly asking, ‘who am I now?‘

Motherhood doesn’t just change your life, it interrupts your sense of self and rebuilding that identity doesn’t happen automatically when your child grows older. The world assumes you get yourself back, but many of us are still searching years later.

Finding yourself again isn’t about returning to who you were before. That person existed in a completely different life. It’s about discovering who you are now.

Ways to Start Finding Yourself Again as a Mother

• Shrinking the idea of a ‘glow up’.
  • Five minutes of mascara counts.
  • Wearing earrings counts.
  • Choosing outfits not based purely around comfort counts.
• Curiosity over pressure.
  • What feels right now right now?
• Reclaim small pockets of time.
  • Ten intentional minutes.
  • Listen to a song without changing it half way through.
  • Sitting down to eat or enjoy a coffee.
• Separate guilt from reality.
  • Spending time doing things for yourself is modelling adulthood, identity, and self-respect.
• Notice autopilot without judgement.
  • Interrupt autopilot by changing something small about your day, take a new route, or eat something different.
• Redefine connection.
  • Low-pressure interactions can be messages over huge social events.

You are not alone in this feeling. There are countless women moving through school runs and bedtime routines wondering where the vibrant, curious, expressive parts of themselves went whilst sat there assuming everyone else has figured it out.

When most of us haven’t.

The real question isn’t ‘who was I before motherhood?‘ it’s ‘who am I becoming?‘