Hi, I'm Emilia Isabelle

Happy Writiversary!

Just over a year ago, in January, I started writing.

It wasn’t part of a plan. I didn’t sit down with a strategy or an audience in mind. If I’m honest, it began in the middle of what felt like a bit of a life crisis. After new year I went full on new year, new me but took it too far as I always do during reinvention. It was one of those periods in my life where everything feels chaotic and I drown trying to get it all together at once.

Writing became somewhere to vent and express without burdening everyone around me. I felt I’d done enough of that.

At first it was just for me, my thoughts sprawled into a notepad with no real direction. It became a way of processing things that were difficult to say out loud. I’m not shy of going to therapy but whilst I felt at peace with where I was, I needed somewhere to share my feelings with no judgement.

Then one day I decided to post some of it online. That felt like a big step, because putting your thoughts out there makes you feel exposed. I felt embarrassed but I felt the fear and decided to do it anyway. It’s one thing to write privately, but another thing entirely to let other people read it.

What surprised me most is that I’ve never really focused on the views. Of course it’s nice when people read something and connect with it, but I try not to look at the numbers too much. Instead, I still do what I did at the beginning, I sit down with my tablet now whenever I get the chance and just let the words flow, and hope for the best.

Sometimes the posts resonate with people. Sometimes they probably don’t and that’s okay because writing was never really about chasing attention or blowing up online, albeit that would be great to feel seen or heard but at the heart it’s always been about doing something that felt honest.

I wanted to be able to tell parts of my story without it coming from a place of anger. Life throws things at all of us, and it’s easy to speak from frustration or hurt but what I wanted was authenticity. I wanted the ability to say how things felt in the moment, without dressing it up or hiding behind it. Looking back over the last year, I think I’ve done that and when I think about the people who read what I write, I feel proud.

It’s not just about being proud of myself for stepping outside my comfort zone, but proud in the hope that maybe it encourages someone else to do the same. Whether that’s writing, speaking up, trying something new, or simply allowing themselves to express something they’ve been holding in.